EllaBeth's the name, and rape was the game. On November 15th, 2008 i was a victim of rape. This is my diary on how im progressing, and how im slowly healing from his touch. Along with songs, quotes, and pictures.
My Story:
At the age of 5 my father passed away from cancer that spread to his brain. The best doctors could not save his life, and God took my wonderful father away from me. Now, he is my angel up in heaven watching over me and making sure i stay safe. Although i know i will forever have him watching over me, i constantly long for a male figure in my life that loves and protects me. In the beginning of my freshman year, a boy by the name of Andrew began talking to me. 4 years older than me, i knew nothing could become of it, so i didnt answer some of his texts and such. Eventually, we both fell inlove with eachother. Real love, i know that it was real. We talked constantly, went on walks, talked about or future, for almost five months. Andrew asked me to tell my parents we were speaking so that we wouldnt have to sneak around anymore, and when i finally caved in and told my parents, they were not to enthusiastic with the idea of me and him being together. They forbid it, infact. Although i was forbidden from being with him, we still talked for a good long time, and eventually he cut off all contact with me. My heart had broken, and i lost that male feeling on love and protection. I became anorexic, bulemic, and depressed. I was not treated for any of these conditions, and they never became too extreme for in which they had to be treated. Eventually, i got over Andrew, a year later.
A month after i got over my first love, i recognized his friend on facebook and added him as my friend. Vincent and I began talking, and eventually talked constantly. I fell for his friend after a short week. He was so much like Andrew. He reminded me of what i used to have. "You should be treated like a princess," he would tell me. One day, my friend Bri, my best friend Becca, and I went to the hair salon he worked at and i got my hair done. He kissed my cheek, flirted with me, and made me fall a little more. Once i left, he told me we shouldnt talk anymore because of our age difference. After a week of not talking, One friday night i got a text message: Sneak out babe. I refused, but told him that i was going out the next night and that i would be glad to see him then.
November 15th, 2008.
I got out of work and my aquaintence Liz met me at my house. We got ready and went over to my friend Alessa's house to decide what we were doing for the night. I texted Vincent and asked him what he was doing tonight, he told me he was working but he would be out by 8. Me and my two aquaintences went out to a party and drank a LOT. Being drunk, I was texting Vincent trying to get him to come see me at the party. He didnt know how to get there, so eventually he got angy, telling me that i wasted his time and his gas.
We had to leave the party, due to neighbors kicking everyone out of the house. So i got into a car with a bunch of people from my school. They told me they were going to another party a few towns over when we started driving. I told them how i wouldnt go to the party and that they should just drop me off in the village. They left me all alone. 9:30 at night. In a vacant town. I called up Vincent, forgetting about him being angry at me earlier and told him what had happened. "Don't worry babe, im coming to get you. Stay where you are," i hung up the phone. My friend David who is two years older than me saw me from his car and called me over to say hello. I walked over being drunk and said hello. "Whoa, EllaBeth.. you are so trashed.. let me take you home right now," he said. i refused and told him that i was going to be picked up by my friend and that he was going to bring me home. Not knowing what was to come.....
Vincent pulled up after a few minutes and i walked over and got into the car. I looked at him and the first thing he said to me was, "You owe me". "I'm sorry.. i left my bag with my money in it at Liz's..." "You'll figure something out," he said. I dont remember much of what happened next until the car stopped on a side street in which i dont remember where it was. "So, you've never been fingered before?" I never comprehended what he was asking me. He unbuttoned my jeans and pulled them down. Pushing my body back into the seat so i couldn't make any gesture for him to stop, he fingered me; leaving a large cut in between my vagina and my rectum. Once he was finished, he sat back and i pressed myself against the car door. "So... im guessing you've never given head before either," he said to me. "Um, i... i dont know." "You dont know? You mean you dont know how? It's easy, I'll show you.." He put his pointer and middle finger in my mouth and pulled them out.. "See, you're good at that." He then grabbed my hair, and forced my head down. I was forced to give him oral sex for some time, and then.. "Can i cum in your mouth?" I pulled my head away as hard as i could, knocking it against the window next to me. "NO!" Angry at the way i reacted, he zippered and buttoned his pants, and drove me back to Dunkin Doughnuts where he picked me up just a short time before.
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